Have a question, a pitch, or just something to yell into the void? Drop us a line. Fair warning: our response time has all the urgency of a hungover sloth on NyQuil. It’s not personal—we’re just masters of organized chaos (emphasis on chaos).
Reaching Jake: The Unicorn of Tasks
Think you can reach Jake directly? Bold of you. He’s not dodging you; he’s just perfected the art of selective inaccessibility. If you’re still determined, hit him up on Instagram. He’s not running a therapy hotline, so keep it brief—long messages tend to get lost in the shuffle.
General Questions
Need help? Got a suggestion? Want to complain that a joke about peanuts offended you because your kid has a nut allergy and now you’re convinced we’ve declared war on your pantry? Whatever it is, shoot us an email to support@jakeshaw.net. We’ll respond right after double-checking that we didn’t accidentally weaponise a Snickers bar.
Partnerships, Affiliates, or Business Inquiries
Got a brilliant collaboration idea? Cool. Just make sure it doesn’t involve pyramid schemes disguised as “mentorship programs,” crypto coins named after woodland creatures, or “guaranteed six-figure” side hustles. Email us at partnerships@jakeshaw.net, and if it doesn’t make us roll our eyes, we’ll be in touch.
Press & Media Inquiries
Looking for an interview, press details, or a soundbite that’ll make your editor choke on their coffee? Hit us up at media@jakeshaw.net. But if your request feels like a snooze-fest, you’ll get a gif of of a drunk panda falling off a barstool instead. The bar is high—don’t trip over it.
Technical Issues
If the site’s misbehaving—pages missing, links to nowhere, or gremlins in the code—email us at report@jakeshaw.net. We’ll tackle the problem like a LSD-fueled IT wizard…or at least we’ll give it our best shot. Patience, friend; the tech gods are fickle.